Sometimes, I forget who I am.
Sometimes, I get stuck in my thoughts. Anxieties take control and influence my decisions and how I feel about myself.
The thoughts spiral down into anxieties that spiral down into fears.
These are the fears that lay deep within the memories of my nervous system. The patterns I learned at a young age and the fears that shaped my behaviours and views of the world.
Sometimes I don't realize until I'm very low. Until I'm doubting most things I'm doing and doubting people closest to me. Even until I hear my background thoughts doubting what people say, not trusting them anymore.
Now, I am practiced. I can recognize those states of being that make me feel sh*tty, that do not serve me, and that aren’t actually me at all. Those fears and those thoughts are remnants of a past version of me. Or rather, remnants of past emotions that a past version of me experienced.
Because I am not my emotions. My emotions are not me. They are an energetic experience.
And these remnants, they may no longer serve me. So I do my best to process them regularly, to feel the ancient (cause they feel like they’re from so long ago) or generational feels and release them. But sometimes, they creep on up anyways. Hormones, lack of sleep or nutrition, a stressful situation - any of that can make it harder to regulate your mind space. It makes it harder to manage those past emotions stored in the body.
I always, always, find my way out of that darkness and come back to Self. And honestly, it’s never as dark as it used to be. I can pull myself out quicker than in the past because I've developed the skills to do so. It’s constant growth and learning as I tend to the garden of my mind.
I hope the information I share below about my own experience will also be helpful for you as you navigate your own thoughts. These are also strategies I use successfully with clients.
How I get out of those moods and come back to my True Self:
Remember who I am I have a motivating descriptor of myself that I wrote when I felt great. I keep it visible in my place of power - my quiet place for reflection and coziness - so it reminds me when I forget. I read it, then I say it out loud until it starts to feel true again.
Remember my purpose Same idea as with who I am. I wrote it down, and I read it when I need it. Your purpose is your driving force. It’s meant to bring you fulfillment and joy as you experience this life to the fullest.
Move Move, shake, dance! I tune into my body, and I practice Intuitive Movement. That simply means letting my body lead. I follow what feels good and I focus all my attention on my body. I tune into the emotions, and I let them move through me as I move my body. This practice is possible whether it’s cardio, weightlifting, or any body movements.
Meditate Sitting in a quiet and safe space - my place of power - I tune into my body. Scan through head to toe. I feel the emotions that are craving to be felt. I explore with gentle curiosity, the reasons behind my fears. I try to get to know myself better. And I give the comfort that my body, mind, and spirit desire.
Forest Walk Getting out in Nature works wonders to shift a mood. And it can be combined with any of the other strategies. Throw in some mindfulness to connect even more with the Energy of the woods. Trees are grounding forces and I love placing my hands on their bark to feel their powerful energy. I also offer this special activity as a workshop!
Gratitude This practice is a life-saver. Every day, even when I feel great; especially when I feel like cr*p, I practice gratitude. I name things I am grateful for.
What doesn't work and makes me feel worse:
Distractions Sometimes it’s okay to distract myself from the emotions and the overwhelming nonsense in my mind. But if I want to actually feel better, I need to feel the emotions and release them. So watching tv, scrolling through social media, hearing other people’s problems is NOT going to make me (or you) feel better. Recognize a distraction for what it is- numbing.
Numbing Pushing down the emotions and finding ways to "numb" the pain (drugs, food, over-stimulation...), cause I don’t want to face the scary truths in my Self. They do seem scary at first. Facing all the sh*t that ya try to ignore for years. Seems scary, is less so once you actually start processing it. Especially with the support of a Coach or therapist, and friends and family.
Blaming or shaming It is NO ONE’s fault that I sometimes feel this way. Or that my core beliefs were more unhelpful than supportive and loving. Placing blame doesn’t make me feel better. Neither does shaming myself for feeling these things, because it wasn’t in my control before. A child doesn’t have the skills to manage their emotions, and it’s normal to have to process these as an adult. I also remind myself that I am always far more than good enough. It doesn’t matter if I think someone else is doing it better…which brings me to my next “do not do”.
Comparing & creating stories Everyone’s experience in life is different. And these experiences, mixed with our personalities and energies, create different core beliefs and values and shape us all in unique ways. Comparing to others, thinking why do they have it better or easier, will never make me feel good about myself.
Downplaying My experience is my own. And the sh*tty times are just as valid as anyone else’s sh*tty times. I don’t have to hide my discomfort or pain because “it’s just not that big of a deal”. If it’s a big deal in my mind, then it’s important, and it deserves attention. I don’t have to push through it or push it down. I try to straight up remove the “I’m fine” vocabulary cause that sh*t is never true.
Tending to other people/projects In a way, another form of distraction. Putting your energy towards others, or even other projects, instead of bringing your energy inwards and paying attention to yourself and your needs.
Being mean! I tell my kids this, since they are at the age of learning to process intense emotions:
You can always express your intense emotions, but you cannot be mean to someone just because you’re experiencing intense emotions.
Being mean to someone innocent doesn’t make it feel better. It tends to create more problems and makes it feel worse afterwards. It often falls into the category of blaming. But as I said above, emotions we experience are no one’s fault. They are just an experience, and they pass quickly.
Why do I forget who I am?
Why do we experience intense emotions and sh*tty moods? Ones that can be so overwhelming, we lose touch with ourselves? Our True Selves - our Essence or Spirit- the version of ourselves that is constant, undefined by a single moment or emotion. Well, we're emotional beings. We're also social beings and our animal instinct to survive wants us to be liked so that we can be safe and accepted in our community.
Societal norms, expectations, stored emotions and traumas in the body...having a nervous system with a goal to survive at all costs... well, it can be a lot for the mind.
There's so much happening in the subconscious mind, it can be easy to ignore until it's not. Until the conscious mind is overwhelmed, and our thoughts start spinning, they don't feel like our own, and we feel anxious. When past emotions and unhelpful self-beliefs start to surface, they take up a lot of space and they change how we think and perceive. It's so easy to get caught up in those doubtful thoughts. Always start by remembering that those thoughts are just an experience. They do not define you. You are eternal, you are deeper and constant.
I know what works for me to manage my emotional states no matter what comes up in my life. Regular movement, nutritious food, good sleep, energetic and emotional release, meditation, alone time, unscheduled days, space to create, hugs, outdoor time, play time, support from feminine friends, and addressing traumas and emotions still stored in my body. Reprogramming my mind to be the loving, supportive, powerful fortress that I know it innately is.
How do you experience "losing yourself" and how do you come back to You? Connect with me to let me know!
Much love,
Andreana♥
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