Do you find the holiday season stressful? Overwhelming? Triggering? You’re definitely not alone in that! I hear all the time how people have so much to do, their plates are full with work and preparing for the holidays. They just can’t wait until it’s over…and THEN they’ll be able to relax.
If any bit of that is even a little bit true for you, then keep reading. Pushing too hard and burning out is never good. So let’s talk about how to prevent it so you can enjoy the holidays, or any busy time of the year.
What makes the holidays stressful?
What makes the holiday season stressful for you? Time pressures, gift-giving, hosting, money, work deadlines…
Maybe spending time with family. Bringing together people with different values and political views, where deep unprocessed emotions creep up. Many complex emotions can come up during the holidays. Loneliness, anxiety, feelings of depression. It can be a tough time for many.
Then there’s the idea that everything has to be perfect. It’s a magical time. It’s supposed to feel magical. And we’re supposed to do all these things to make it feel that way. Right?
There’s a lot of external pressure from popular culture and capitalism pushing us to spend a lot of money, dedicate a lot of time and effort to the holidays. And we’re supposed to prioritize our work so we can succeed and prioritize our family so we can be good people and prioritize ourselves because of “self-care culture”. And we’re supposed to keep going when we really need rest.
All that is the aggravating and confusing truth of this capitalist society. Those “priorities” all collide together around the holidays, or around any big event or milestone. It’s stressful. And none of that results in a perfect holiday or event. The idea that perfect exists is all based on external validation. When we know, the true magic of the holidays comes from inside ourselves. Yes, that sounds like a cheesy holiday movie! But it’s true. It’s the same magic that makes every day of every year special. The world inside you. Your thoughts, your emotions and nervous system. Your mindset. That’s what makes life magical.
So in order to really enjoy the holidays, you have to reflect. Think about what’s important to you about the holiday season. That should be your mantra, your affirmation as you move through the season. Take time to think about how you want to approach the holidays before you get there. What’s your mindset? This is effective for any event/activity throughout the year.
The most important thing for me is that I spend time with my loved ones. That we play and we laugh and we connect. And that we have time to rest. I don’t mind if there’s no gift giving or big, fancy meal. So what matters most to YOU? Keep that in your mind and in your heart as you read on for helpful holiday thriving strategies!
How to thrive during the holidays
Reflect. What’s most important to you during the holidays?
Cultivate a holiday for YOU. It may be that the commercial and “traditional” way of celebrating the holidays isn’t for you. Think about how you want to celebrate, if at all, and try something new! Do it the way you want to with intention, instead of just following the tradition automatically.
Prepare. Make your to-do list and include deadlines to get things done early.
Energy. How much time and effort do you want to dedicate to the season? Whether that be spending time with others, buying/making gifts, etc. Set your limit so you can balance it with the other areas you spend your energy.
Set boundaries. Think about what you are comfortable with, and what you are not comfortable with, and how you can make your boundaries clear to others.
Prioritize your health. The culture around the holidays and the idea that you’re encouraged to mistreat your body and mind is absurd. Just because it’s the holidays, it doesn’t mean you have to drop everything that makes you feel good. It doesn’t mean you have to over-indulge. Movement, eating nutritious foods, breathwork, alone time, time outside etc. are still things you should prioritize to stay healthy. Just because it’s the holidays, doesn’t mean your needs are less important. Your needs are VERY important. Your health is VERY important. And if others are pressuring you to indulge more than you want, refer back to boundary setting!
Regular check-ins. Take a few moments to yourself regularly to see how you’re doing and assess your needs. Don’t wait until you’re overwhelmed or panicking. Check-in with yourself often to maintain your health and a positive mindset.
Lighten your load! It might not actually be possible to get all the things you wanted to done. Not without, as my stepson so dramatically puts it, “sacrificing your life”. Reprioritize. Choose what’s really important and focus on that. See the activity below! And if that isn’t enough to reduce your stress levels…
Ask for help. Aren’t the holidays about community? If you don’t have time to make a big meal - ask for help and ideas. If you don’t have time to get all your work done - ask for help! If this is difficult for you, consider what the barriers are. Pride? Worth? Some other block?
Activity to prioritize tasks
Try this activity to lay out the most important tasks and prioritize.
Create 3 columns with these headings: what I need to do, what I’d like to do, what could wait. Fill in the columns with your to-do list. Remember that not everything can be a priority. Think back to what’s most important to you during the holiday season.
What I need to do.
Look at this from different perspectives. Clarify priorities and deadlines at work. Will the world break if it doesn’t get done right away?
What I’d like to do.
It would be great if you could get these things done, but if it doesn’t happen, everything and everyone will still be okay. Pull from this list if you’ve tackled all the items on the “need to do” list.
What could wait.
Things that really aren’t a priority and you’ll get to them eventually.
You've got the skills to thrive
Self-reflection and living with intention are key for a joyful, fulfilled life. Whether it be during the holidays or during other times in the year, think about why you do what you do. Consider what is most important to you. Alter your traditions to suit you and the life you want to lead. Remember that true magic comes from within. It’s not about blindly following the capitalist culture, it’s about finding meaning within yourself. Recognize your thoughts, emotions, mindset as you approach any situation or holiday and cultivate an internal world that you can thrive and be happy in.
The list on how to thrive and the activity to prioritize tasks will help you think about your internal world and what’s really important to you. The next step is taking action to make your internal and external worlds the magical places you deserve.
If you need help cultivating those environments, altering your mindset, or even need support during the holidays, I’m here for you.
Much love,
Andreana
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